Blue in the face & seeing red

If you were in the same room as me right now as I'm typing this you would hear my keyboard being punished with hard button pushes, me muttering incoherently to myself, and loud exhales of frustration. In fact I'm debating whether or not to type this post in red all caps just to show you how STRESSED*FRUSTRATED*IRATE*OVERWHELMED I am at the moment. I have banned all 3 of my children from the living room with the parting "so help me...if any of you set foot in here!". (exhale)

You may be asking what the hell is up her butt today? Well, 3 things actually. Between the ages of 5-10. This is one of those rare days-- hold up (I promised I would keep this blog as real as possible so let me amend that)- increasingly normal days where all of the kids decide to act like the devil incarnate. AT ONCE. I'm talking head spinning, temper tantrum throwing, foaming at the mouth kind of antics. I feel like I need holy water in the fridge.

Let me give you a lil background: Single mom who has been unemployed for almost 2 mo (translation= freaking out about financial obligations), watches my grandfather 5 days a week now (translation= picking up after an 82 yr old who acts like a 4 year old but has the dirty rude mouth of a sailor), runs the kids around for activities 5 days a week, plays Cinderella for her overbearing mother who very rarely has anything positive to say. Those are just a couple of the things I do.

I have been attempting to spring clean the house for awhile now. Usually have only the evenings/weekends to tackle it. Quite frankly last thing I want to do after a busy day taking care of everyone else is slave away at a mess. Anys, moving on. I have decided that the kids are old enough to start pitching in. My bestie has kids around same age as mine and they help her bigtime. All I'm asking mine to do is clean up their OWN rooms and any mess they make elsewhere. That leaves toilet scrubbing, laundry, dish duty, and perty much everything else on MY checklist. Seems fair, no? Apparently not according to them. Let me give you an example of how this goes... and make sure you imagine it playing on loop so you get the full effect.

ME: hey guys, we need to get some cleaning done ok? Go ahead and straighten up your rooms please.
THEM: ah do we have to, ugh, why?, this stinks, etc. *Accompanied by foot stomping, huffing/puffin*
ME: it won't take you that long, let's just get it done and then you can play.
THEM: FINE! (kicks at floor)

There I am thinking ok that's taken care of. Pssht. Here we are 3 hours later and what have they done? Not a single thing other than making a bigger mess. Oh yea did I mention that throughout this 3 hours they have been bickering non-stop? Yelling, screaming, crying. At what point is it ok for me to flip my lid? The first 4-5 times I asked them to get to work where nice. 6-8 were firm, 9+ just got increasingly loud. Where did I go wrong? Why do they feel they are entitled to treat me this way? Now, I will say that I have probably spoiled them and gone easier on them because I feel guilty they don't have a dad in their lives. There is only me (for oldest two that is) to love and discipline. I struggle with finding a balance because I don't want to only be the bad guy. But, cooooome on. You'd think I was asking them to scrub the floors with a toothbrush held in their mouths. I'm going to pause for a minute to catch my breath. Go use the restroom or take a smoke break. I'll wait for you :)

So, all the above was just based off the fact I asked them to clean their rooms. That's discouraging. Any advice on how to get them into line? What's your parenting style? I do not enjoy fussing or yelling at them, but find myself doing it more and more. Their behavior has become a pattern and it's breaking me down. This is not the type of family and household I want to have. Been there done that with my parents.




I'm going to reach out and ask for advice for issues that I have with each specific child. Maybe someone reading is dealing with the same type of things and is willing to share?

This is my oldest. 10 going on "too big for her britches". My mother (who is my nemesis) has played a large role in her life since she was born and has spoiled her rotten.They certainly share some of the same qualities which typically leads to me being exasperated. I believe is she ready to hit puberty because she has Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome. Among her favorite things to say to me are: "I hate living here, I want to be with grandma.", "I hate you, you're a horrible mom.", "my life sucks and I hate it." See a theme here? She is prone to severe eye rolling and door slamming. She has also started voicing out that she doesn't have a dad and it's not fair. I have tried to explain that she has other people to love her. And yes, I acknowledge her pain about not having 2 parents or her confusion on why. She is very Diva, DQ (Drama Queen), bossy, outspoken.

My 7 year old, only boy. Pretty sure he suffers from middle child syndrome. He has always been the more difficult of all of them, even as a child. Constantly seeking attention and usually gets it, but in a negative way. Does not know when to stop talking or acting up. Very high energy, no focus, constantly in trouble at school. He is the one that tends to instigate any bickering at home because he just doesn't mesh well. I find that he pushes and pushes at me. He's an affectionate child but very frustrating some days. It doesn't seem to click with him that he can also gain my attention by behaving properly. Have a feeling he may have ADD, ADHD, or something along those lines. Anyone that can provide your own experiences with a child with either of those would be greatly appreciated. 

Here's my 4 year old girly girly who has two volumes. Loud & Louder. I really don't have too many problems with her other than she plays the cute card too much. I know at her dads house she goes to bed fine, but she is still very clingy to me at home most nights. She loves to push boundaries and is starting to not listen as well as she used to. Think a lot of that is her testing her independence. Hopefully she stays sweet, LOL

Wow, I think I've said enough for today. I can feel my blood pressure returning to it's normal state and I no longer feel like banging my head into a wall repeatedly. Thanks for letting me take up your time with my rant. I do have one teensy favor to ask though. If you stuck with this whole post, please take a moment to leave a comment if you can relate. It would mean a lot to know I'm not the only parent at their wits end :)